primer

watched 'primer' last night.
definitely recommended.

seti

my contribution to the search for extraterrestrial life.


do other aliens wear shorts in winter?

a letter to buick

dear sirs,

can anybody from buick please tell me what, by stating on your home page, 'grace and sophistication meets performance' has anything in common with 'the apprentice' and 'martha stewart'? does buick think these individuals epitiomise grace and sophistication?

but even better; exactly what do you mean when you say 'beyond precision'?, what; engineered like a maclaren f1 road car for instance? what industry accepted international standards does buick build its cars to? and how, if it satisfies those standards, does buick then build a car beyond those standards? does buick actually have a new set of standards all the other auto manufactures are ignorant of?

i think not.

conclusion: total bollocks

Thank you for taking the time to send us an email regarding your questions about purchasing a Buick. We value your input, and will make every effort to respond to your email within 48 hours.

science club, dc

good to have a new place to go. interesting and quirky space.

adams morgan is best avoided; especially at weekends.

seen the buick ad; 'beyond precison'?

'beyond precision' that's buick's brave new ad?
that's the best the ad guys can come up with? i suggest they watch 'crazy people' with dudley moore.......

the words don't even make any sense...

just stupid. the car looks like all the other sedans coming out, and i doubt very much that it's the best made car in the world, which is what 'beyond precision' implies.

i predict that buick as a car company name will die within three years; probably less.

there's nothing wrong with wearing shorts in winter

rebecca thinks i'm mad.

i intend to prove her right.....

it had to happen someday.....

doing my regular spot at gazuza last night and a guy walks in, obviously straight from work. typical dc lame, square professional. sits down and orders a mohito, never taking his ipod earphones out. spends the next twenty minutes staring at the screen that was playing a movie (with no sound) while i dj. doesn't talk to anyone, never looks at me, even though i'm maybe fifteen feet away from him, and the sound i'm playing has to be drowning out his ipod. he plays with his ipod and has another mohito and goes.

try a sandwich shop, dude.

conclusion: in england, the word rhymes with 'banker'....

if i see him next week, i'll get him a shot glass of water and ask him what he's listening to :)

sunshine in tv ads..

anyone notice how in every tv ad, everyone's face is ridulously illuminated as if by the sun?

they can be absolutely anywhere indoors. makes no difference. but when there's a drama, the whole area is in darkness, (hospitals, etc) yet by some miracle, the actors' faces are lit from beneath. this is most strange. i've been in operating rooms. they are not dark.

also, i'm puzzled by the shaving commercials. ever seen a normal looking guy shave in a tv advert? nope. he's a full-on gym rat (never bald) that immediately after shaving, an attractive looking female comes up to and strokes his face with the look of a lobotomised cheerleader. but if it's a cold remedy commercial, not one gym rat in sight. just a couple of normal, tired-looking, suburb-dwelling 40 somethings in pyjamas that are all grayed out until after a restful nights sleep, where behold! the ridiculously illuminated sunshine face reappears......................... :)

conclusion: bald, non athletic-looking men shave, and gym-rats get colds. and it's never sunny on their faces when they do either.

there'll always be an...

striped shirts are back, and it's not looking good...

noticed how the combination of stiped shirts and tucking makes men look stupid?

it's worse if you go out at the weekend. why would a man who wears a formal shirt to work all week, tuck a similar shirt in to go to a bar or a club?

and before you say 'dress code' let me veto that by saying i can't imagine any club i'd want to go to that has a dress code....

anyway, why am i even awake this time of day?

aeon flux, anyone?

er, nothing against charlize theron, but there's no way i'm going to pay to see this film. it looks utter rubbish. has to be by the way they're relentlessly advertising it.

why is it that the only truly powerful transition from comic to film is sin city. now that's a film.

coincidence?

i was watching the bbc america news at around 6:15pm. there is a report about a leaked document in britain where george bush meets with tony blair and in the document it alleges that george bush wants to bomb the al jazeera news station in baghdad.

as soon as the report shifts to a clip from an al jazeera spokesman, condemning the possibility of civilians being deliberately targeted, the tv goes dead, i see a still frame from the cartoon network, and we lose all internet connection in our apartment. it comes back, some five minutes later and there is no mention of the lost transmission and no report.

some coincidence! the bbc news america is taped and i have never seen this happen before.

makes you feel all cosy inside........

tai shan

new at the national zoo.

alright, i admit it; he's cute.

welcome to the friendly nation's capital...

just in case you've thought about an impromptu visit to d.c and fancy a quick tour of the washington monument...

here's what you have to wade through first. nice and welcoming, isn't it?

makes you feel the true fist of a butchered democracy.

in web-speak, using all capitals is universally recognised as SHOUTING!

MUST READ - ALL VISITORS ENTERING THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT ARE SUBJECT TO SECURITY SCREENING. DEVICES USED FOR SCREENING MAY AFFECT INTERNAL MEDICAL ELECTRONIC DEVICES INCLUDING PACEMAKERS AND DEFIBRILLATORS. ADVISE PARK STAFF BEFORE ENTERING IF YOU HAVE ANY MEDICAL DEVICE OR CONDITIONS THAT MAY BE AFFECTED BY SCREENING EQUIPMENT. MUST READ II - PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT: WEAPONS (GUNS, KNIVES, STUN GUNS, IRRITANT GAS DEVICES, AMMUNITION, ETC.) AEROSOL OR NON-AEROSOL SPRAY CANS, SMOKING, EATING OR DRINKING, SUITCASES, DUFFEL BAGS OR BACKPACKS LARGER THAN 18" X 16" X 8", STROLLERS, PETS, (EXCEPT GUIDE DOGS ACCOMPANYING VISUALLY OR HEARING IMPAIRED PERSONS), ANY TANGIBLE OBJECTS THAT COULD REASONABLY THREATEN PUBLIC SAFETY AND SECURITY, FOOD (EXCEPT A SMALL QUANTITY OF SEALED FOOD ITEMS), BEVERAGES (EXCEPT WATER OR BABY FORMULA IN CLEAR PLASTIC CONTAINERS). IMPORTANT INFORMATION - PARKING IN DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON DC IS LIMITED AND THE TRAFFIC VOLUME AND CONGESTION CAN BE HIGH. USE OF PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION IS ENCOURAGED. THE SMITHSONIAN METRO STATION IS THE CLOSEST SUBWAY STOP TO THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT. SPECIFIC INFORMATION - RESERVATIONS MADE AT LEAST TEN DAYS PRIOR TO THE TOUR DATE WILL BE MAILED TO THE CUSTOMER. RESERVATIONS MADE WITHIN 10 DAYS PRIOR TO THE TOUR DATE WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR PICKUP ON THE DATE OF THE TOUR AT THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT TICKET KIOSK. THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT TICKET KIOSK IS LOCATED AT 15TH ST. NW AND JEFFERSON ST. (ON SOUTHWEST SIDE OF THE MONUMENT). THE TICKET KIOSK IS OPEN FROM 8:30 AM THROUGH 4:30 PM FOR PICKUP OF "WILL CALL" TICKETS. SPECIFIC INFORMATION II - GROUP TOUR GUIDES WHO ARE CERTIFIED/LICENSED WILL NEED TO PROVIDE THEIR TOUR OPERATOR LICENSE NUMBER WHEN MAKING ADVANCE RESERVATIONS. NON-LICENSED AND SCHOOL GROUP GUIDES WILL NOT NEED TO PROVIDE A TOUR OPERATOR LICENSE NUMBER WHEN MAKING ADVANCE RESERVATIONS. WHEN PICKING UP "WILL CALL" RESERVATIONS, GROUP GUIDES WHO ARE CERTIFIED/LICENSED WILL NEED TO PRESENT THEIR VALID GUIDE CERTIFICATION/LICENSE WITH PHOTO ID, AND THE RESERVATION CONFIRMATION NUMBER. WHEN PICKING UP "WILL CALL" RESERVATIONS, NON-LICENSED AND SCHOOL GROUP GUIDES WILL NEED TO PRESENT SCHOOL OR BUSINESS LETTERHEAD CONTAINING: THE NAME OF THE GROUP, THE NAME OF THE PERSON PICKING UP THE TICKETS, AND THE RESERVATION CONFIRMATION NUMBER. THE PERSON PICKING UP THE TICKETS FOR THE GROUP WILL ALSO NEED TO PRESENT A PHOTO ID. IMPORTANT INFORMATION 1 - THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT IS WHEELCHAIR ACCESSIBLE AND HAS A WHEELCHAIR THAT MAY BE USED WHILE VISITING THE MONUMENT. IMPORTANT INFORMATION II - THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT MAY CLOSE ON SHORT NOTICE FOR VARIOUS REASONS, AND TOURS MAY BE DELAYED OR CANCELLED. REASONS FOR CLOSURE INCLUDE: ELEVATOR MALFUNCTION, SAFETY OR WEATHER RELATED INCIDENTS, AND OTHER NECESSARY CLOSURES AS AUTHORIZED BY THE NATIONAL PARK SERVICE. IMPORTANT INFORMATION III - THE STAFF AT THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT ASKS THAT YOU ARRIVE AT LEAST 10-15 MINUTES PRIOR TO YOUR RESERVED TOUR TIME. GENERAL INFORMATION - GOLDEN AGE PASSPORTS, GOLDEN ACCESS PASSPORTS, GOLDEN EAGLE PASSPORTS AND NATIONAL PARKS PASSES DO NOT APPLY TO WASHINGTON MONUMENT TICKET RESERVATIONS. DIRECTIONS 1 - THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT IS LOCATED AT CONSTITUTION AVENUE AND 15TH STREET NW IN DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON DC.

Important Message By clicking on the Accept button, you acknowledge that you have read and understand all conditions and requirements associated with this tour.

just in case you thought i was car crazy or something...

i give you the world's most desirable vehicle...

to me, at least :)

survey for ya!

if you could have any toy, what would it be?

a full 'works' subaru rally car would be mine.

i will publish a list of all respondents' answers (minus names)

so far i have:

helicopter
turntables
bicycle (a really good one...)

p.s. ..i'm writing this eating tiramisu and drinking a cup of tea before i go to bed. mmmmmmm!

hey america: this is what a real jag looks like!

letter to the new york times:

perhaps paul duchene, writing for the new york times ought to do his homework before pretending to know anything about jags.

he fails to mention browns lane by name. no excuses. every jaguar fan in the u.k. knows this name is the (holy grail) home of jaguar. since shut down by ford...

failing to mention the mkII, possibly the most famous british sports car of the 1960's (when it was launched, capable of 125mph, it was the fastest production car in the world paul, on our then speed limit-free motorways) cannot be forgiven. ever been to coventry paul? do you even know where it is? it would seem not.

last but by no means least, this car became an icon for another reason. because it was the fastest car one could by, it became the most desirable car used in britain by two very different sectors of british society: the cops and the robbers!

that's right. armed robberies were committed by villains using this as their getaway car and were being pusued by our lads in blue driving the very same vehicle. as for ultimate bragging rights at the pub, this car was it!.

conclusion: your article suffers because you gleaned all your information from some photo-pretty coffee-table book. omission of the markII proves this book was not written by an englishman....













do your homework, dude...i suggest watching some old 'the sweeney' broadcasts as a starter...

football faithful

instead of the ludicrous practice of footballers praying, (ever seen anyone pray after committing and losing a fumble, not making a game-deciding catch, or after taking a really hard hit, and especially after losing a close hard-fought game?...) perhaps the washington redskins ought to have a team therapist in the huddle. anything to stop the 4th quarter melt-down that has now reached three in a row...

or perhaps daniel synder can get together with comcast and offer free fan-counselling sessions for the legions of long-suffering redskins fans with every ticket sold, and every game watched on tv.

stretching absurdity

the all new hummer, the hybrid BS. apparently it runs on hot air from virginia, and can be seen every weekend in adams morgan.

the true meaning of festivity

q: why does america have this crazy love affair with celebrating a national holiday, that is typified with families driving to depressing malls (that all look the same), only to line up hours before some crap store opens it's doors, then behave like selfish, spoilt brats, caring only for themselves, sometimes fighting!, in order to save some bucks, presumably on gifts for people they care about?

a: greed. a most unattractive quality.

today, in america, is:

national 'be very thankful that only by chance were you not born a turkey day........'