Friday, December 30, 2005

letter to the new york times

Dear New York Times, & Richard Feast in particular,

Are you in fact an automobile writer? I ask that, because I’ve just stumbled across your pathetically unimaginative write up of the new Bugatti Veyron. (Dec. 25th)

“It would be nice to relate that this reporter's driving skills are capable of wringing the maximum from the Veyron. They are not, but they were enough to determine that at really high speeds the car is quiet, comfortable, refined - and as easy to drive as Mr. Bscher says. The car's everyday top speed of 234 m.p.h. is enough to make it a king of the road. To be the performance emperor, though, the driver must resort to a second ignition key to the left of his seat.”

Wow! Richard; that left me panting harder than an asthmatic ant, carrying a small leaf up a very gentle incline, at a leisurely pace, stopping off to read last Tuesdays obituaries, while waiting for a double mocha decaf latte, as he checks his blackberry for e-mails sent earlier about how to get the best deals on figurines on QVC. You get the point? Dull! Dull, Zzzzzzz…

How in God’s name did you get this job?

Psst! you want to know how a real motoring journalist writes about the world’s fastest production car? I suggest you start by reading Car Magazine’s story by Jason Barlow, on page 120 of the December 2005 issue.

In fact, I suggest you read all of Car Magazine’s stories, and hopefully become enlightened by the art of the true motoring hack. That way, at least i hope you won’t continue to murder the Queen’s English with such a dull quill.

With due deference, I await your next article. Or response.

All gripes aside: - Happy New Year to everyone at the New York Times!

Mark Solomon

Washington, D.C.

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