ted (well i'll be damned) haggard

From the family Christian book store: italics all mine.

There are many Christians who want to know how to approach God more effectively. (on your knees, ted, or is it the other way round?) God has made a way for us to meet Him and has created a map for us to follow (yeah, it’s called crank).

Using the tabernacle of Moses, (don't you mean pills, capsules, powder and some chunky crystals?) Ted Haggard shows how God has invited us into His presence and given us a road map to becoming competent (lying, drug-using, homosexual) Christians.

Fascinating tabernacle symbolism in this book includes: ·The two most crucial events in the life of every believer (don’t say a word until you’re caught). Followed by (I never actually used the drug....) · Four "basin basics" that every Christian should know ·How to move from believing to becoming a light for Jesus (just give me some ice will ya!)· Three choices that face all Christians in their journey· How to use the one key that opens the door to the (mom and pop labs) most holy place (What changes to expect as you move from the outer court into the holy of holies (er, sore knees, rotten teeth..)

The Pursuit of the Good Life offers a unique blend of practical application with life-changing transformations using symbolism that has been around for thousands of years. (yeah, but anyone knows that the widespread chemistry has only been around since the 70’s. duh!)

Q: What are some signs that a person may be using the drug?

A: he may well appear as an influential evangelical minister.

as they say on monday night football;

ted haggard got 'jacked up!'