Thursday, June 21, 2007

Vatican has Ten Commandments for drivers










VATICAN CITY - The Vatican on Tuesday issued a "Ten Commandments" for motorists to keep them on the road to salvation, warning drivers against the sins of road rage, abuse of alcohol or even simple rudeness.

The unusual document from the Vatican's office for migrants and itinerant people also warned that automobiles can be "an occasion of sin" — particularly when used to make a dangerous passing maneuver or when used by prostitutes and their clients.

And it suggested prayer might come in handy — performing the sign of the cross before starting off and saying the rosary along the way. The rosary was particularly well-suited to recitation by all in the car, it said, since its "rhythm and gentle repetition does not distract the driver's attention."


...since the pope stands up in a boring, slow-moving chariot, just so he can show off his papal robes, the catholic church has a long-standing history of being in touch with the modern world & hasn't ever been embroiled in moral misgivings involving choirboys and members of the clergy, etc...fucking hypocritical bastards.

ah, the catholic church. there's a real winner! last time i checked, there weren't hundreds of legal cases of sexual abuse against children by atheists...

so, in a full two fingered salute, i give the vatican church the original -

ten blokey commandments!

The Ten Blokey Commandments

  1. Thou shalt not wear tights
  1. Thou shalt not wear luminous clothing
  1. Thou shalt not act like a girl…
  1. …Yet thou shalt covet hot girls
  1. Thou shalt not cock-block
  1. Thou shalt not becometh a fat Christian
  1. Honour a good beer with thine mates
  1. Thou shalt not turn down the bass
  1. Thy shalt indulge in sporting passions
  1. Leave thine basement
nutty @ drum & bass party at #501, july 3rd & 4th, 2005


...or in other words, why don't dont you shut the fuck up, and put your own house in order before telling everybody else how to live their lives.

update:

i just found an e-mail for the vatican, so i've just sent them the ten blokey commandments :)

VATICAN PUBLISHING HOUSE (LEV)

e-Mail: lev@lev.va



10 comments:

JoJO A. said...

1. Thou shalt not wear tights?
Well that can't be right as I'm sure the pope wears cute white ones under his luminous dress. But that's just me. Maybe his the only one who's allowed to do so.

Their thing is so based on good sense.. like the 1st is thou shalt not kill. OH REALLY? Talk about stating the obvious. The just had to refer to the original ones.

nutty said...

...it's a 'blokey' commandment, remember?

er, i don't really want to think about what he wears under his papal whatchamacallits...

thou shalt not kill. that's a laugh. religion has been responsible for how many wars & deaths?

the crusades and the inquisition were really nice times i hear..

cheers :)

Anonymous said...

Wow, someone is real mature. The reason you hate the catholic church is because they have flaws? Every institution and organization has flaws. You never hear about atheists being charged for sexual abuse because the news never mentions the religion of sexual offenders. The crusades and inquisitions were bad times in the christian church but how many lives have they saved since then? (feeding the poor, treating the sick, etc.)

Have a nice day "mate" :)

nutty said...

a man of faith judging me? isn't that a sin?

how about the spanish inquisition? i wouldn't describe that period of history as being 'a bad time'.. are you barking mad? mass torture and killing all in the name of god?

and you are not entitled to call me 'mate', because you're not one.

there's nothing more impressive that someone who leaves sarcasm hiding behind the internet's veil of 'anonymous said'...

best of all:"You never hear about atheists being charged for sexual abuse because the news never mentions the religion of sexual offenders"

- er, unless it's the recent polygamy raid in eldorado!

or as i put it, the systematic rape of underage children, all in the name of god.

well, who exactly are you, 'anonymous said'?

go read your bible, full of historical facts AND interesting stories , such as the star of bethlehem, that mysteriously NO other independent records exist on earth verifying seeing in the sky, including the very skilled chinese observers at the time...

told to us by the unknown author of the gospel of matthew. it recounts wise men coming from the east to jerusalem after seeing a remarkable star, then finding a newborn king by following the star to his humble birthplace. the star of bethlehem "goes before them" and stops "over where the child was,"…you know the rest. no independent report of such a sky event exists. the story was written not by a contemporary but by an apologist about 100 years – more than a human lifetime – after the fact. scientifically, any search for an astronomical star of bethlehem is fatally flawed, based in part on the text of matthew in its original language. an honest look shows that not only do all astronomical explanations fail to fit the story, but the historical reliability of the tale itself is simply too low to take as fact.

or the sun that stood still in the sky. i like that one, seeing that the earth would have had to had stop rotating about its axis, yet no records from other civilisations support this 'account'.

or didn't you know that other civilisations kept records at that time?

churches do plenty of good. this is undeniable. of this, i am in complete agreement.

i just wish that the vatican, head of the catholic church, would shut up trying to tell me how to live my life, when it obviously has a lot more to answer for than me.

and get with it, and start promoting the use of condoms!

have a nice day, yourself. sincerely.

anti-nutty said...

Well, I picked a name so I hope your happy.

First off I never said I was a religious man, im just tired of ignorant basterds like yourself putting religion down when you don't do anything to contribute to society and piss on moral values.

Second, you act like the only mass torture and killing to ever occur in history have been from religon. I would reccomand you take a look at about 97% of the worlds wars which were fought over money, power, and land. Yup, about 3% (most likely less) of the wars throughout all of history have been fueled by religion. Go ahead and take a look at any genocide that ever occured. Armenia and the Holocost, annialation of a race of people. Currently the genocide in Darfur is being fought over political power. Mass torture occurs all the time due to political reasons. You also seem to turn a blind eye to the centuries of peace the church has experiened. The church is not at all a warring or torcherous organization, most of their time goes into making the world a peaceful and safe place.

The crusades and spanish inquesition were during the middle ages and the recent molestation of children by the clergy are three blemishes on the churshes record while countries like England and Germany have far more. England is responsible for the murder of countless indian tribes, the opium addiction and war in china, countless deathes in wars over trade with other countires, the forceful taking of land all over the world, participating in slavery, and ignoring/with holding food from the starving irish during the potato famine even though ireland was a english possession and thereby under their control.

Germany has begun countless wars for money and territory, the genocide of jews during WWII, and numerous acts of attrition performed against other counties.

There are also several organizations that are much worse such as the IRA, KKK, KGB, and SS.

Also, im allowed to call you whatever the hell I want to. What are you going to do, threaten me over the internet?

I figured my name didn't matter when compared to my opinions but apprently we have a perfectionist on our hands and comments aren't good enough for you.

As for the religion of sexual offenders perhaps the news did talk about the recent polygamy but that was only because it was extremely concentrated and those involved were part of a minor religion. On the news you never hear about a single sexual offender being jewish or muslim because that isn't relevent. I ask you then, considering this why is it relevent that catholics do something illegal that other people do? Another thing, people are quick to point the blame at religion. Children are raped for no reason as well but you conveniently ignore that topic don't you?

I never claimed religion was accurate, that was your own self justified ranting. The old testament is full of non-scientific facts. It was originally developed to explain how the world worked before modern science existed.

As for the new testament there are several roman philosophers and writers who agreed with matthew, mark, luke, and john. Most of these authors were not catholic as well.

Everyone tells people what to do. You're telling me that religion is wrong and that I should change my pratices because apparently you know everything about the world and how it works. It's human nature to try and force your influence.

I also agree that the catholic church should allow the use of condoms and pre-conception birth control but you have to understand where they're coming from. The sexual and materialistic society that we live in is a sad thing indeed. It's only a matter of time before something comes along and returns us to a moralistic society, it's happened before in history and it'll happen again. That, or our countries will decay until the point where they fall apart and we'll be left at the mercy of god know what.

Finally, you counter sarcasm with sarcasm...that's real fucking original now isn't it?

And I did have a nice day, thanks for caring.

nutty said...

well, anti-nutty,

my best friends gave me my name, nutty. you gave yours through bitterness and disagreement.

your comments on mother's day are full of happiness.

and as for the mercy of god, we have just seen his good work in myanmar...

Nighthawk said...

Fine, I'll change my name. I use Nighthawk as my internet name so I suppose I can use it here as well. That is unless you're going to bitch and complain about my name again.

More sarcasm from you....I can't say im suprised.

For your information my comments were actually the day before mothers day according to my time.

As for your only relevent argument...it's so typical for people to blame god when something bad happens and to discredit him when good things happen. The fact is, bad things happen. If bad things never happened then good things would become meaninless. Also, looking at it from a scientific standpoint we need natural disasters, wars, and disease to lower the population. It may sound terrible for me to say this and it is but the truth is that if people never died, if everyone was allowed to live to the ripe old age of 93, then the world we live in would quickly become overpopulated even faster then it already is. The resources on our planet would run out, people would starve to death in the millions, wars over the remaining resources would erupt all over the globe, etc.

And if you follow the news in the next week you will see religious organizations flocking to myanmar in order to provide aid to those who are suffering. That's the point where god's mercy kicks in. I love how you're judging god and his community and being critical about the occurances in myanmar when you aren't lifting a finger to help them while churches are sending people, food, money, and medicine. I'd just like for you to think about that.

nutty said...

why do expend so much energy being boring?

i don't care what you have to say.

better still, why don't you start your own blog? you obviously have a lot to say, nighthawk.

that's the name that honda give to their learner 234cc motorcycle that girls ride...

...mister know-it-all.

http://corporate.honda.com/press/article.aspx?id=4139

please find somebody else to bore.

Nighthawk said...

Hey, I was just trying to have a debate with you. If you're tired though, then I'll stop.

I actually named myself after the F117-A Nighthawk Stealth Bomber. Here's a picture if you happen to care (gasp) http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/military/f117nighthawk/f_117_nighthawk_2.jpg

As for the honda thing, I didn't know that. As a matter of fact I don't know much about cars and I never claimed to know everything.

I'd rather not start my own blog because I simply don't have the time. That, and the fact that I'd be swarmed by anti-religious jerks since god and religion aren't "popular" anymore.

Ok, I'm done ranting. I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time on this useless matter but I honestly enjoyed it. Debating is so much fun :). Anyway, thanks for putting up with me this long. I won't post here again so feel free to put me down as much as you want. Thanks again.

Sincerely,

Nighthawk

nutty said...

i don't view mass torture and killing as 'blemishes' in world history.

it's not the debate i mind. but when people start getting long-winded and negative in defense of a position that is built (in my view) on stony ground, i have a few problems.

having experienced a near-death experience from a serious motorcycle accident, my views of life and death probably differ from yours on a very personal level.

as for the blog, yes, they take on a life of their own, and you feel compelled to update them, so i have to agree with you on that score.

rants apart, i wish you all the best. it's perfectly o.k to be different and disagree.

i may be anti-religious (in the christian sense) i have a lot more sympathy for buddhism for instance, but i'm hardly a jerk just because i choose to prod here and there.

rush limbaugh. now there's a jerk.

cheers :)