e-mail to chevy

over the years, it’s been my great misfortune to see some truly terrible tv adverts, but having witnessed your new “this is our country, this is our truck” ad, it seems indeed possible that new lows can not only be reached, but punctured, gored, and harpooned, using a large, blunt object. and all in the name of selling a pick-up truck.

allow me to elucidate. (if you are unsure of this word’s exact meaning, go buy yourselves a dictionary – if your 2006 profits allow…)

just how many more american icons can you vomit forth and fit into 30 seconds? must have been a tough decision to leave out a plague of locusts and the twin towers actually falling on 9/11..

couldn’t you find a burning flag somewhere? couldn’t you just hold up a photograph of a 4-year-old girl smiling at ronald reagan waving a banner that says “if you don’t buy chevy trucks, they’ll go bankrupt!”.

ah yes; the imagery.

“this is our concept vehicle” – an anvil. this is a completely immovable object. strange choice for transportation…

no hispanics, or other minorities? guess it’s not “their country”…

and all this wrapped up in john mellencamp country twang bollocks, oops!, i forgot the ‘couger’! er, hasn’t he done some recent rebranding of his own? i did some research.

his political values seem equally elastic. he and his spouse once wrote a jeremiad against the bush administration that said, in part: “it is time to take back our country. take it back from political agendas, corporate greed and overall manipulation.”

that was in 2003. now he’s sitting on the fender of a chevy truck, strumming a guitar and singing, “well, i can stand beside ideals i think are right, and i can stand beside the idea to stand and fight.” he can also stand beside a nice shiny truck, if the fee is right

i’m sorry chevy, but i’ve been asked to write this e-mail to you as i have a number of very good mates, every one a thoroughly good bloke,(you’re gonna need that dictionary, but not an american one for this), including beesch, and without fail, they are sustaining very sore wrists, as they instinctively reach for their remote controls in anger to hit the mute button.

won’t you hear their pleas for help?

i, and they, await your response.

nutty
washington, d.c